Particular sentence structures can, however, allow students to showcase more advanced thinking. Prompt the students to change the level of formality on occasion for emphasis. The examiners are clear that a sustained argument should be led by the deeper structures of the argument itself, rather simply signposted by persuasive devices.
I gathered the ideas the students generated through discussion and mind-mapping on a projected screen in the form of text boxes, with the intention of modelling how we might structure and sequence the ideas most powerfully. Cohesion - have you used linking words and phrases discourse markers?
The piece digressed at length about the merits of the education system in Finland, and in doing so, really lost sight of the central thesis. What about starting with the weakest ideas and building momentum as we go? Tell them to write less and craft it more. Here, the student has created a rapport with the reader by addressing them directly.
Our recommendation is to get a balanced view - do use set expressions here and there, but try to avoid over-using them. The student follows up their opening anecdote by clearly outlining their main argument.
Examples - have you included illustrations to reinforce your points?